Hun, it's easy to get caught up in a crush and start making them the main character in your storyline. But here's the thing: doing that only sets you up to be hurt later. You gotta be your own main character, beautiful. Once you are ready to do that, dating becomes a whole lot easier.
Let me put you on some game. You like your crush because they are themselves, right? That makes them unique—that's how the person crushing on you feels. They aren't trying to be with someone you are not. So when you're in the dating game, keep it 100, ghel.
Listen, being confident doesn't mean you are the loudest person in the room. And it definitely doesn't mean you always know the perfect thing to say. It's about showing up as yourself—no masks, no trying to be who you think they want.
So, how do you be confident in dating? Let's get into it.
One thing's for sure—your value doesn't come from someone else's attention. Instead of stressing over what you lack, focus on what you offer, hun. Shiiii - Write it down if you need to. List your strengths and little quirks that make you unique. Maybe you have a killer sense of humor, or your sneaker game is on lock. Whatever it is, own it.
When you see your value, you won't need to chase someone who doesn't recognise it.
Sisterly advice, baba: Someone worth your time will add to your journey, not derail it. I bet you know a sista who was so dope but followed a crush thinking he is the ish, and next you know, she is totally an extension of him. Right? Just with his friends, listening to his music, supporting his vision. And her? Second in her own line, Ha ah, mo’ghel - we not about that life here.
You gotta see yourself outside of the relationship - no matter how serious it is. You can’t be all meshed up in someone else's story and forget yourself, hun. You gotta have Doja Cat’s magical foresight - where will you end up in 5 years if you drop all the things you care about for a crush?
Here’s the tea: Know what you want before you start dating, chomma, and don’t let a crush make you lose focus. Your dreams, your education, your career, your passions—those come first. Then, everything else.
Not everyone is for you, even the ones you like. Just because someone turns you on doesn't mean you need to pursue them. Stay on your path; if someone fits into your journey, fantastic.
But never shrink yourself for a fling.
If you are vibing with someone, do a self-check.
Ask yourself:
When you have clear standards, it's easier to walk away from situations that is not make sure.
Confidence isn't just about appearance, it starts from the inside out and is important in every way. You a baddie. Act like it. Taking care of yourself—your skin, hair, wardrobe or emotional well-being—gives you that extra boost that makes you feel nca. You don't need to be dripping in designer chomma, but a little self-care never hurt anybody.
When you feel good, you project confidence. And that energy? Unmatched.
The right person will make time for you. They'll show interest. They'll be consistent. If someone is giving you mixed signals, acting too busy, or making you second-guess yourself—they're not it. Love should never feel like a guessing game.
This one's big, babes. If you don't believe you're worthy of love, you'll settle for less than you deserve. Surround yourself with people who hype you up, remind yourself daily that you are enough, and never let anyone make you feel otherwise.
Confidence isn't about impressing someone else—it's about being yourself and knowing that's enough. The right person won't just like you.
They'll respect you. And if they don't? Hhayi Suka.
Love ya!
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