Mo'ghel I am willing to bet a lot of Randelas that we have all had that experience of sitting and staring at a phone screen, writing the same text 100 times - joh, like we are texting the Queen of England. Kaanti, it's just a 'What's up" text to some dusty.
We all have a friend who will reread an old convo with a guy, analysing every word, tryna figure out if she said something dumb. Or worse—waiting for a reply that’s taking way too long!
Yoh, chommie. Texting anxiety is real, and it’s draining.
But it doesn’t have to be that deep. (It never is, TBH)
Let’s talk about why texting gets us in our heads and how to stop overthinking every message.
A lot of the time, texting anxiety comes from fear of rejection and embarrassment. You don’t wanna say the wrong thing, come across as too much, or seem like you care more than they do. Nothing is worse than the other person thinking you are thirsty. (Imagine them just looking at your message, showing their friends, and laughing at your dry mouth, haibo. Give me zero, ma'am.)
Other times, it’s about expectations. Maybe you’re used to fast replies, and now they’re taking their sweet time, so you start spiraling. Or you’ve been double-texting, and now you’re worried you look desperate.
And then there’s tone confusion. Because let’s be honest—“okay.” and “okay” don’t hit the same. Neither does “lol.” versus “LOL.” And don’t even get started on the people who just reply “k.” That’s basically violence.
Texting is tricky because it leaves too much room for misinterpretation. But instead of overanalysing, let’s focus on how to communicate better and stress less.
Listen, not everyone is glued to their phone 24/7. Just because someone takes a while to reply doesn’t mean they don’t rate you. People get busy. Phones die. Social battery runs low.
If someone consistently takes forever to reply and you’re always the one keeping the convo going, that’s a different story. But a few slow replies? Not worth losing sleep over.
What to do instead: Keep busy. The more you sit waiting for a text, the more your mind will convince you something’s wrong. Put your phone down. Live your life. The message will come when it comes.
Have you ever spent 15 minutes crafting the perfect message, only to delete it and send “nvm wyd?” instead? Stop doing that.
Your first instinct is usually right. If you’re spending too much time trying to make a text sound perfect, you’re overthinking.
What to do instead: Type it, read it once, and hit send. If you need to have a serious convo, take a second to make sure your tone is clear. Otherwise, just say what’s on your mind and keep it moving.
We’ve been conditioned to think double-texting is desperate. But if you’re having a normal convo and the person gets distracted, it’s okay to follow up.
That being said, there’s a difference between checking in and chasing someone who clearly doesn’t want to engage.
What to do instead: If they usually reply but just got busy, a casual “Hey, did you see my last message?” is fine. But if they’ve been airing your texts for days? That’s your answer. Let it go.
Not every conversation should happen over text. Some things need tone, body language, and real-time reactions.
Texting is great for casual chatting, making plans, and sending memes. But if it’s something serious—like setting boundaries, addressing a misunderstanding, or breaking up—it’s better to do it in person (or at least over a voice note).
What to do instead: If you feel like the convo might get messy over text, start with:
“Hey, I wanna talk about something, but I think it’s better to do it in person. When can we chat?”
That way, the other person knows it’s coming and won’t feel ambushed.
If waiting for replies stresses you out, or you hate texting 24/7, set some boundaries for yourself. Not every text needs an immediate reply. And you don’t have to be available all the time.
🔹 What to do instead:
Sometimes, you need a second opinion. Whether it’s how to word a tricky text, what to say when setting boundaries, or whether you should even reply at all, Big Sis is here for you.
If you’re overthinking a message, let’s talk about it. No judgment, just real talk. Chat to a counsellor about what is giving you anxiety about talking to this particular person and we will work it out together. Maybe you even need a break from them, sis. No one would have you all in a tizzy about a few words strung together.
Texting is supposed to be fun, not stressful. If it’s making you anxious, take a step back. Not every message needs a deep analysis.
If the convo is dry, let it go.
And remember, the one who texts last isn't the loser, and the one who ghosts isn't the winner. That is a toxic game, and can only lead to someone feeling like a fool.
If you’re constantly feeling anxious about texting someone, ask yourself if it’s worth it. The people meant for you will make communication easy, not something you have to stress about.
Keep it simple, chommie. Say what you need to say, then leave it. No overthinking.
Love you!
Big Sis
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