Self-Love vs Situationships: Why Validation Isn’t Love

We've all been there, right? Caught in the messy middle between friendship and relationship, the infamous "situationship."

You know the vibe, ghel: ya’ll are not quite official, but not exactly casual either. It feels exciting at first, lekker even. You get butterflies, late-night texts, and just enough attention to keep you hooked. But soon enough, that excitement fades, leaving you stuck and wondering, "What's actually going on here?"

“WHAT ARE WEEEE?” you never asked in fear of looking thirsty.

Situationships often feel confusing because they're built on shaky ground. There's affection but no clear communication and intention. You're getting validation (your partner notices you and presents themselves as supportive) , but you're never quite sure of your place. And here's the gag: validation isn't love. It might feel warm and fuzzy in the moment, but validation alone will never give you the security and genuine connection you deserve.

Why Do We Even Get Stuck In Situationships?

Truth is babes, many of us hang around in these vague connections because we're craving validation. Deep down, everyone wants to feel chosen.

Oop!

We want someone to say, "You're the one." But when we're insecure about ourselves, we often settle for crumbs, hoping that someday they'll add up to a full meal.If this dynamic ever feels emotionally manipulative or makes you feel unsafe, that’s not okay – and help is always available.”

But chommie, shrinking yourself just to fit someone else's vague idea of what they want is never worth it. The love you seek outside should first be found within you.

Signs You're Stuck In A Validation Loop:

• You're constantly second-guessing where you stand.
  If you notice your mood shifting based on their texts or snaps…”
• You're constantly bending over backwards just to keep their attention.
  
  
• You feel drained rather than uplifted after seeing them.
  
  

Breaking Free With Compassion:

Now, here's the vibe… You don't need to be harsh or beat yourself up for getting caught up. Compassion is key. Breaking free from a situationship isn't about blaming yourself or even the other person; it's about reclaiming your emotional well-being.

Here’s how you can gently, yet firmly, reclaim your power hunny:

1. Recognise Your Worth:
   You deserve clarity, commitment, and a love that feels safe. Remind yourself regularly.
   
   
2. Set Clear Boundaries:
   Don't be afraid to define what you want. If they can't match that energy, respectfully step away.
   
   
3. Prioritise Your Peace:
   Engage in activities that make you feel strong and fulfilled. Self-love isn't selfish; it’s necessary.
   
   
4. Lean on Your Tribe:
   Surround yourself with friends who lift you up and remind you of your value, even when tempted to settle.
   
   

Remember, mntase, true love should feel easy, secure, and affirming, not confusing or conditional.

The right person won’t leave you questioning your worth or your place in their life. Until then, show yourself the love you wish to receive, because the best love story starts with you choosing you, first.

You’re worthy, whole, and enough, just as you are.

Check you soon, babes

If you’re feeling unsure about a relationship and want to talk to someone about it, chat to Big Sis for free.

Your privacy and confidentiality are our top priority.

Big SIs