Trust Your Gut When Grooming Is Looming

Chomi,

Weitse Dezemba e re kwalla le family le batho baba ngata ngata! Pulaski yone e na waya ways. Sometimes pula is just pouring down and there's no way of getting away. Toxic conversations ka fa, cousins tse di go tlapelang ka fa, mean grannies and rakgadi’s ka kwa… yerrr.

As if that's not enough go na le bo malome who are just weird. Being around then feels off. Mntase lalela la, trust your gut- if it doesn't feel right being around them, it's not right.

uMalome may be trying to take advantage of you if he:

• pays too much attention to you and that attention feels uncomfortable 🚩🚩🚩
• tells you that you are “mature for your age”🚩🚩🚩🚩
• tell you that you're the only one that understands him🚩🚩🚩

Those kinds of statements and behaviors are dangerous because they're meant to make you believe that you can handle things a child has no business dealing with. That's called grooming chomi.

Grooming is what an abuser does to prepare the potential victim for abuse by encouraging the potential victim to believe that toxic, predatory behavior is okay.

Here are other red flags to look out for.

• hugs that are too tight and last uncomfortably long 🚩🚩🚩
• inappropriate touching/ stroking of areas on your body that are private like your bum, breasts and thighs🚩🚩🚩🚩
• always trying to be alone with you🚩🚩🚩🚩

Mntase if you've noticed that umalome is giving creepy vibes, chances are one of your cousins or siblings have clocked the same thing. There's strength in numbers! Help each other.

• Never be alone with umalume who feels unsafe
• Take your cuzzy with you everywhere
• Always tell.umslume ukuthi ba ku thumile, uphithizele so he can't find you.

Home should be safe, sadly, that's not always the case. And if you ever need someone to be on your side, I gotchu. Chat to the Big Sis Chatbot or call the Big Sis Helpline mahala on 08000 12 84 55.