Let’s start with the most important part, chomma
Being interested in sex is natural
Feeling attracted to people is natural
It’s not shameful. It’s not taboo, neh?
And there is no right or wrong way to do it - as long as you’re appropriate, respectful about other people's boundaries (and they are the same with yours) and there is consent : sex and sexuality are a healthy and honestly a very fun part of life.
The tea is that sexuality is super personal and very individual/unique. And guuuuurl It’s about so much more than just who you’re attracted to - we’ll get into that later.
There’s no timeline for figuring out your sexuality it either, chiiiile! Some people figure out their sexuality early in life, which is a real blessing for them! But others take time and only figure it out when they are older, which is 100% okay too.
Some feel a strong attraction to others, and some don’t. And that’s all completely valid, sis.
The truth is, there’s no "set way " when it comes to sexuality—only what’s right for you. This is your unique journey; you don’t have to rush it.
Like I said, chom sexuality goes deep, neh - it isn’t just about sex.
It’s about who you’re drawn to, ghel - in every way. Physically, emotionally, or romantically. And that attraction exists on a spectrum. Understanding your feelings in a safe and supportive environment is important. That means it isn't a one-size-fits-all kinda jam - you might be drawn to men, women, both, or neither (We have a whole list of gender identities that might fit your fancy).
Some sistas experience little to no attraction, while others feel a deep emotional bond before attraction kicks in. There’s no single way to experience or express sexuality. Sometimes, you just know you're feeling someone and their vibe - which might even surprise you!
Ghel, questioning who and what you’re attracted to is natural. Especially when you're transitioning from being a teen into a young adult, that time in your life can be stressful and confusing. That’s why sistas start to experiment with different people and even more types of relationships—they’re figuring out what terms feel the most true to themselves. But if you are at the exploring stage of your journey, remember this always: Safety first always! Your older self will thank you.
Most teenagers explore their feelings and experiences around attraction at some point—it’s a natural and powerful part of growing up.
Some are drawn to people of a different gender, some to the same gender, some to any gender, and some may not feel sexual attraction at all.
Attraction and identity aren’t the same thing. A young person who is attracted to the same gender may or may not see themselves as gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Some prefer different labels, like heterosexual, asexual, or pansexual, while others choose not to use a label at all—and that’s okay.
It’s also important to remember that sexual attraction is different from gender identity. Gender identity is about who you are—whether you feel like a boy, a girl, both, or neither—while attraction is about who you like.
So babes, if you don’t want a label, that’s okay. You don’t have to decide everything right now, and your feelings may shift over time. You don't have to determine who you are right now; even if you have already made a decision, it’s okay if that changes. Humans change and grow all the time.
It sucks chom, but some people struggle to accept differences, and that can be tough. If you’re facing judgment or feeling isolated, know that you don’t have to go through it alone. You can always chat to me, and I can lead you in the direction of help, you get me?
Exploring your sexual identity can be exciting, but it can also come with stress, especially if you feel pressure to fit into certain expectations. Sometimes your neighbourhood, your family, your religion, and other things can make you feel some typa way about being true to yourself and learning about yourself.
Know that support is available if you’re feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or low. You deserve to feel safe, accepted, and free to be yourself. Chat to me and I can show you some dope places that can offer private and confidential help and support
Reaching out is a sign of strength, lil sis.
Here are some resources where you can find guidance and support:
Love,
Big Sis
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