Is It Love, Lust, or Just a Crush?

Here's the scenario: There's this guy at work who makes you swoon! You can hardly contain yourself when he walks past your desk, and you smell his cologne - it leaves a trail of sexy behind him wherever he goes - SBWL. You could steal and sleep with his jacket as an emotional support pillow.

Haibo - that's not love, chomma- that's infatuation. And a little bit of a crime.

We listen and we don’t judge, babes. We've all been there—feeling the heat when someone walks in the room, and suddenly, your heart's racing.

But how do we tell the difference between love, lust, or just a crush?

Love – It's Deep, It's Real

Sis, love has phases, but when a relationship reaches that point, it's usually after getting to know the other person on a deeper level.

Love isn't just about the butterflies moving around in your small intestine; it's about building something real over time. It goes beyond the physical and encompasses the whole package. We are talking about something emotional, spiritual, and mental, you see?

So, it is unlikely you love the guy you have barely spoken to, but that doesn't mean your feelings aren't real—they are just on a different level. But if you find yourself investing in the person's life, sharing intimate details, and thinking about long-term plans together, you're probably moving towards a love connection.

Lust – The Fire of Physical Attraction

Now, this one has been mistaken or loved for generations, chomma. A burning in the privates, babes. Lust is about electric, physical chemistry - when you can't stop imagining doing the things with them -or if you guys see each other, you can't keep your hands off each other.

Just like love, lust can feel super intense, but it's usually driven by attraction, not by a deep emotional bond. If you're feeling a rush every time they touch you and fantasising about getting physical, it's likely lust. It's fun, but it's not the foundation for something long-term.

A Crush – That Exciting Yet Uncertain Phase

A crush is a bit more relaxed and involves both physical and mental attraction. Someone catches your attention, but you're not sure what's happening yet. A crush is a fun, flirty phase, but it's still just a crush if you only think about how they look and not who they are. It can be all about the daydreams and the thrill, but it's often short-lived, so enjoy it, hun.

Recognising What You're Feeling

So, how do you know what is what, sis? Here's how you can tell:

• Physical Sensations: Are you feeling heart or even lower palpitations or a rush when you see them? Then it's probably lust. If it's more about connecting emotionally, it could be love.
• Long-Term Thoughts: Do you fantasise about a future together, or is it more about the here and now? Planning for long-term-ish usually points to love.
• Connection Beyond the Bedroom: If you're thinking of introducing them to your friends and family, or you're sharing intimate details of your life, it's more than lust. That's love.

Love vs Lust – Can They Coexist?

The truth is that love and lust aren't mutually exclusive - which means you guys can share both. But love is about deeper connection and commitment, while lust is about that heat and chemistry. Don't confuse the two—they may look the same at first, but the feelings are very different once you step back.

But if it's love, don't rush; let that connection grow, ghel.

Communicate with the person you're feeling this way about. Asking questions and being transparent about your feelings will help you understand what's happening - I always say keep it 100!

There's no rush to figure it all out.

You're in control, chomma,

Big Sis