Big Sis, the holidays give me stress. I mean, I know it's a happy time with family and whatnot - but for me? Joh. Nerves. My family loves to tussle. We spend loads of time together but they are so loud and argue about everything OMG - I know I am blessed to have them, but sometimes - ha ah!
Lil sis,
Don't even explain guuurl - your feelings are valid. And of course, you can be grateful for people and still have many layers of feelings! Chom, you gotta put yourself first - and if that means saying no to a few events, or having coping mechanisms in place between social gatherings, then so be it. Here’s the tea: putting yourself first doesn’t mean you’re being selfish; it means you’re showing up for you.
However, you managed to come out on the other side of 2024 healthy and happy is okay!
Babes, we know how it goes. The Aunties keep asking awkward questions about work, or love or anything you don't wanna share - or they are commenting on your body! Sheeesh, it’s too much. Or they are having the same argument about politics and it's getting rude and rough? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to step away. Practice saying, “I just need a minute,” and walking away for a bit. If everyone is at your house, make your room a no-go zone. Take breaks to get out, find moments for peace, or even binge your fave show in your room. Quiet moments can help you reset and feel ready to engage again.
You don’t have to attend every braai, lunch, or shopping spree. Pick the events that bring you joy and gracefully skip the rest. We love a queen with firm BOUNDARIES! And here is the important part hun, you do not have to feel guilty about saying no. Saying no, isn’t about dodging responsibilities or cutting people off—it’s about protecting your vibe so you can show up as your best self for the things that really matter to you. Before you say yes or no to anything—whether it’s an invite, a favour, or a random request—take a beat and ask yourself:
If just thinking about it makes you feel stressed or low-key not good, then don’t force it. Saying no isn’t rude—it’s self-respect. Prioritise you, boo, and trust that the right people will understand.
A tool kit will save you in a crisis, right? So why not have a kit for your emotional and mental health too? And it can be anything, sis, Anything that you know calms you down or makes you feel strong. This can be a playlist with girl power bops that makes you feel empowered! Or, have physical stuff in a bag, like a favourite snack or body spray that brings you joy. Some sisters use grounding techniques (like deep breathing or listing things you’re grateful for).
Chom, the thing is even though we are all in control of our actions, sometimes the brain goes into autopilot and does what it does. When your brain thinks there’s a threat—even if it’s not real—it hits the panic button and floods your body with stress hormones. That’s why your heart races, your palms sweat, and your breathing speeds up. It’s your mind’s way of saying, “Hey, danger ahead!” even when there’s none.
Grounding techniques are like your brain’s chill pill. They remind it, “Relax, I’m safe.” These tricks or techniques help to pull your focus away from the storm of feelings and focus them into the now, the moment, giving you a chance to breathe and reset.
Babes, picture your happy place. Maybe it’s your childhood home, a quiet beach, or even a magical world you make up. The key is to picture somewhere you feel calm, secure, and happy. Build that world in your mind when you feel relaxed, so it’s ready when you need it most. When you feel that panic kick in, just take a moment and go there in your mind. Stay as long as you need.
Hun, if visuals aren't enough, write it down. Keeping a journal or notebook is a foolproof way to get the hectic thoughts outta your head and onto some paper. Sometimes, when you are worried about something or need to make sense of a situation, seeing it in ink can help you find a new perspective.
Chom, the goal is to finish this festive season with your peace intact.
Do what you gotta do, to show up for YOU!
Big Sis
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