Understanding The Big O: A Guide To Female Pleasure


Hey Sis, orgasms might feel mysterious and hidden in secrets, but learning how to have one is O-so-important to making sure you have a healthy, and HAPPY sex life.

Sexual enjoyment isn't just for the boys, neh? Mo’ghel, we can reach climax (and multiple times at that) when having sex.

You might have heard about orgasms, wondered what it feels like, or even experienced it and want to make it happen again and again and again. Because orgasms are amazing, and they feel incredible! So, let’s explore orgasm together, Chomi.

Let's break down what an orgasm is, what happens in your body during one, and why it can sometimes be tricky to reach.

So, What Exactly Is An Orgasm? How Does It Feel?

An orgasm is like the grand finale of feeling turned on. It's when your body releases all that built-up excitement and pressure in your clitoris (the very front tip of your vagina), and you get a pleasurable throbbing feeling in your private parts, and for some women, all over the body. It is coupled with a wave of pleasure - imagine a shiver down your spine - FULL body chills!

This is coupled with the release of fluid from the vagina. Some women release more fluid (cum) than others, but any amount is normal. It can feel warm and runny coming out.

The whole experience usually only lasts a few seconds to 1 minute, but some orgasms can last for closer to an hour. Sjoe, imagine that!

To reach an orgasm, you need sexual stimulation. This could be things like touching your private parts or other sensitive areas like your nipples, or even just thinking about something sexy can build you up to an orgasm. You can orgasm from sex with someone else, or from masturbating.

During an orgasm, several things happen in your body:
  1. Your heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate go up.
  2. Hormones get released into your bloodstream and the muscles in your vagina and anus contract rhythmically (about once per second for several seconds - this is the throbbing feeling).

These muscle contractions are important for the orgasm. For example, the muscles in your vagina and uterus may contract (tighten), causing a small amount of fluid to be released. For guys, the muscles at the base of the penis contract, often leading to ejaculation (when the body releases semen - also known as cumming).

Do All Women Experience Orgasms?

Babes, in a perfect world, we would all orgasm from sex each time. But there are loads of reasons that someone might easily not reach the point of pleasure.

Painful sex, vaginal dryness, and not enough stimulation can make orgasms hard to reach. Foreplay is super important to get things going - this is all the fun stuff we do before sex like kissing and grinding to make sure we are ready to fully engage in penetration. Ska wara babes, sex can take many forms and does not need penetration.

Hormone changes after childbirth or around menopause can also affect arousal (being turned on) and wetness. Health issues and conditions, along with certain medications, can also interfere with your pleasure. Worries about sex, low self-confidence, drug or alcohol use, relationship problems, stress, ageing, and past trauma can also make it more difficult to have an orgasm.

If you feel you need some guidance on how to reach climax and have a fulfilling sexual experience, chat to your healthcare provider about what could be affecting your ability to orgasm - and find the best solution for your situation and lifestyle. You got this, ghel.

Masturbation Can Help!

Lots of sisters find that getting to know their own pleasure points can help them ‘get there’ when with their partner.

Think of masturbation as creating your personal roadmap to the big O. Set out some alone time to explore your body with different sensations so that you can explain it to your boo. You can use your fingers to simply explore the different parts of your body that turn you on, and that way you can also figure out what you don’t like - so that you guys can avoid doing anything that might seriously kill the mood! Whatever you find gets you off, there is no right or wrong when it comes to choosing your own pleasure.

Play around with it Sis, and trust yourself to figure it out in due time!

All the best,
Big Sis